Introduction

This book began with an epiphany while reading Jack Fritscher’s The Life and Times of the Legendary Larry Townsend. Fritscher notes that Townsend was the first to point out that while most gay men come out once, leathermen actually come out twice: once to their sexuality and again to their fetish.

That insight hit me hard. I realised that this was exactly what had happened to me. I came out as a gay man in 1986 and then, in 1990, I came out again—this time as a leatherman, after discovering leather and the leather community. For many, coming out as gay feels like the end of the journey. For others—especially leathermen—it is only the beginning of a deeper search for belonging. Most leathermen come out first as gay, and later as leathermen, finding a tribe that reflects who they are in skin, heart, and hide.

Curious, I went looking for books that told this “second coming out”: stories of gay men who had walked this unique path of coming out twice. I searched for collections that spoke openly about that shift—from gay man to leatherman—but found nothing that truly captured this dual experience. That absence became the spark for this project. If the stories weren’t there, they needed to be gathered, recorded, and shared. And so, this anthology was born.

This book is driven by a deep passion for leather culture and for the men who find their home within it. Many books explore what it means to come out as gay, yet almost none tell the powerful story of coming out a second time—as a leatherman. These stories have too often been overlooked, whispered, or lost. This project is about preserving and honouring the real life experiences of gay men and leathermen standing proudly in their full authenticity.

These coming out stories offer hope by reminding others that they are not alone in their struggles and fears. These stories illuminate the courage it takes to embrace authenticity and demonstrate that acceptance—both self and from others—is possible, even if the journey is difficult.

Hearing real-life experiences can inspire those still grappling with their identity to believe in a future where they, too, can find understanding, support, and a sense of belonging. Through storytelling, hope becomes tangible, transforming isolation into solidarity and uncertainty into possibility.

This collection aims to educate, inspire, and celebrate the diverse experiences of leathermen everywhere. It is a supportive resource for those seeking connection, identity, and belonging—whether in their seventies and eighties with decades of leather under their belt, or in their teens and twenties taking their first steps into the scene.

Whether you're a seasoned leatherman, a dedicated kinkster, or you're just beginning to explore the leather/BDSM/fetish scene, this uplifting guide is filled with insight, advice, and heartfelt stories to help you embrace your life in leather and kink with pride and authenticity.